Politics

Trump Is Out Here Selling Citizenship Like He’s In ‘The Wire’


Trump White House

Source: The Washington Post / Getty

President Trump has been very clear since Day 1 that he doesn’t want your tired, your poor, or your hungry unless, somehow your immigrants have $5 million and then they are more than welcome. 

Because the president of people who voted against their own self-interest has been treating the White House like a trap house, he’s now out here selling “Gold cards” like he’s working a block. 

“Got dem gold cards, yo!”

On Tuesday, President Trump announced that if a foreign-born person has enough money then, they too can have American citizenship because America loves wealthy foreigners. Let’s be clear: When Trump and his goons speak about immigration policy and “rounding people up” they are only referring to poor people of color not born in this country. People like shadow president Elon Musk and even Trump’s wife who reportedly was granted a genius visa (I wish I was joking) are the kind of people who are always welcomed in America because Trump treats citizenship, like a bouncer working the door at Studio 54. 

“We’re going to be selling a gold card,” Trump said from the Oval Office, CNN reports. “You have a green card. This is a gold card. We’re going to be putting a price on that card of about $5 million and that’s going to give you green card privileges, plus it’s going to be a route to citizenship. And wealthy people will be coming into our country by buying this card.”

Trump added that he needed about two weeks to get the cards up and running and then he would be giving them to the rich like a corner boy in Baltimore. And of course foreign billionaires are lining up to purchase citizenship.  Dominic Volek, head of private clients at Henley & Partners, told CNBC that he’s been getting calls from clients who can’t wait to buy into the country that claims they don’t have room for those who are already here. 

Some 135,000 millionaires around the world will relocate to a new country this year and that’s usually between the United Arab Emirates and the U.S., which is weird because Brazil is right there.

And in case you were wondering if gold cards would be off limits to Russian oligarchs, Trump noted: “Yeah, possibly. I know some Russian oligarchs that are very nice people.”

I’m sure he does. 

“Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, standing alongside Trump, said the card will replace the government’s EB-5 immigrant investor visa program, which allows foreign investors to pump money into US projects that create jobs and then apply for visas to immigrate to the US,” CNN reports.

“They’ll have to go through vetting, of course,” Lutnick said, “to make sure they’re wonderful world-class global citizens.”

Apparently Congress created the EB-5 program back in 1992 to give green cards to those who made a large financial investment into “distressed zones called targeted employment areas, to create jobs for American workers.”

So Trump’s foreign cronies used the loophole to fund real estate development deals, which created congressional conflict during Trump’s first term with senators from states where their constituents don’t drink Pabst Blue Ribbons wanted to reform the program. 

So I guess Trump finally said, “Look why are we playing? They want citizenship and we want money.”

And thus you have the new America, or as they called it on The Wire, “Hamsterdam.”

SEE ALSO:

AI Video of Trump Kissing Elon Musk’s Feet Is My Kind Of Petty

Unfortunately, Apple Fixed A Glitch That Replaced The Word ‘Trump’ With ‘Racist’

62nd Annual Grammy Awards - Arrivals

10 photos

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button