Martha Stewart Moans In ‘Thirst Trap’ Video After Revealing Shocking Moment Parole Officer Blocked Her ‘SNL’ Hosting Gig
Martha Stewart has riled fans up twice in the last week. Once while sharing her thoughts on her prison parole officer and, most recently, with a seductive video sharing what gets her in the mood.
On Jan. 28, Stewart posted a lust-filled clip on Instagram for MAC Cosmetics’ “I Only Wear MAC” campaign.
Draped in a champagne-colored silk robe, the 83-year-old sensually bites into a juicy strawberry while discussing what gets her “in the nude.” Moments later, Stewart moans and slurps while pressing a honey drizzler against her lips. “Makes a mess,” she giggles.
Stewart then sensually talks about eating pomegranates in bed before applying lip liner and nude lipstick, making it apparent the video was a MAC ad.
“Thirst trap Martha is my favorite Martha,” read one Instagram comment.
“Bruhhhh whoever got martha stewart to do this ad is either a genuis or unhinged but it worked anyway,” read another.
“Was not expecting martha in a smokey eye slurping up my feed but am equally not disappointed,” a third person wrote.
“Somethin’ about prison done changed martha….” added a fourth.
A day earlier, on Jan. 27, Stewart made an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” where she revealed that “Saturday Night Live” came calling in 2005 following her release from Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia. While there, she served five months for charges related to conspiracy and obstruction of justice in a stock trading scandal.
However, her parole officer prevented her from taking part in the hosting gig, and the television host still has an ax to grind with him.
According to Stewart, she was not allowed to accept the gig because her parole restrictions made the coveted hosting opportunity impossible.
“I wanted to, and they asked me as I was coming out of Alderson,” Stewart told Fallon.
Limited to just eight hours outside daily under her parole terms, Stewart couldn’t accommodate the rigorous “SNL” rehearsal schedule.
“That bastard! I still have his name and his number,” Stewart declared about her parole officer.
She also added she still is “so pissed” about the missed opportunity.
When Fallon suggested she’d make a fantastic host, Stewart shot back with characteristic confidence: “Oh I would. I’d be amazing.”
While Stewart never got her moment at Studio 8H, she’s maintained a constant presence on the show through others’ interpretations.
Many of the New York Post commented on her possibly getting the comedic gig.
“Martha Stewart wants on SNL?” one person wrote. “Why not get her bff Snoop Dogg to allow her to appear during his concerts and sing with him?”
Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart horse back ridding at the Olympics 🐎 pic.twitter.com/IQvRVE1Rhe
— DailyRapFacts (@DailyRapFacts) August 4, 2024
Another person chose to comment on her audacity to expect special treatment, “You’re nobody special, you’re on parole.”
Over the years, nine different performers have stepped into her perfectly polished shoes, including Ana Gasteyer, Kate McKinnon, and Amy Poehler. David Spade’s impression particularly impressed Stewart. She shared with the talk show host, he wore “the real poncho,” a detail that only Martha would catch.
The Olympic host’s revelation about this coveted opportunity slipping through her fingers comes after Netflix’s “Martha” documentary, which covered everything from prison to her failed marriage and fading friendships. Like the parole officer, she still has beef with some.
The disclosure about her divorce from Andrew Stewart reveals raw wounds that Martha still has. She claimed he treated her “like a castaway,” while Andrew described their marriage as “painful and abusive,” far from picture-perfect.
These days, Stewart’s confrontations lean more entertaining for her fans that crack up at her slick wit and dry shade.
She’s playfully needled Drew Barrymore about her hosting abilities, commanding her to “Stop trying to copy me, Drew!” She seemed to not like the “E.T.” stars constant touching.
Even Ryan Reynolds isn’t safe from her neighborhood watch, as she warned him, “He better watch out. I’ve been to prison, so don’t mess with me.”
For now, Stewart embraces her status as one of the most frequently impersonated figures on “SNL.”
“I love it. Imitation is the highest form of flattery,” she said. “You might as well be imitated.” After weathering federal prison, public scandals, and countless impersonations, Stewart’s ability to command attention — and hold grudges — remains undiminished.
Just ask her parole officer, whose contact information she’s kept handy for nearly two decades, proving that while time heals all wounds, Martha Stewart never forgets.
