Michelle Obama discusses the problem with modern dating on her ‘IMO’ podcast: ‘A lot of people are not looking deep enough’
Michelle Obama is one half of an epic couple. But before she was the wife of the first Black President of the United States, the former First Lady had to take a chance on good ole Barry.
Speaking on the latest episode of the podcast she hosts with her brother, “IMO With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson,” Michelle admitted unabashedly that she married a man who wasn’t what you would exactly call “financially sound.”
“I left my corporate firm when I met Barack,” she further explained. “I had somebody who was like, ‘I got your back. The risks you think you’re taking, they aren’t that crazy, and I’m here to help you.’”
She added, “That’s when I said, ‘I would rather have that in a partner than a higher income. I would rather have somebody who is ready to do some hard things with me.’ But that meant I had to be ready to do some hard things with him.”
The topic came up with fellow podcast host Jay Shetty as the trio discussed the perils of modern dating and finding a partner. The reveal came as Robinson suggested that most of Michelle’s fellow “sistern” aren’t as open to the type of things she may have been in her 20s.
“They’re looking for a good catch,” he said, adding that finding someone who is “attracted to the hunt” or down for the hustle is hard to do in today’s dating landscape.
“I think you make a good point,” Michelle replied, adding that at the same time they can’t “generalize across the board for the women.”
“I think women are also confused about what they want and what they should be looking for in a mate,” she said. “I have a lot of friends who will ding a guy because, you know, he doesn’t have a college degree. So there are a lot of people who aren’t looking deep enough, they aren’t thinking broadly enough about what makes for a good partner, and instead, we all just look at the superficial things.”
The author noted how often the first question on a blind date is “What do you do?” which she said could put somebody on the defensive.
“What are you looking for? Why is it the first place that we start? Are we trying to get some idea of how much money they make?”
She added that “on the flip side” men could sometimes be too visual in their pursuit.
“I think there are a lot of women who are open to a lot of different kind of men and a lot of different kind of lifestyles,” she continued. “Women want a partner, they want to feel loved, they want to feel desired, they want to feel chosen.”
Michelle, who is 61 now, met Barack at a law firm in Chicago in 1989 when she was 25 and he was 28. The pair were married in 1991 and welcomed their first child, Malia, in 1998.
The former First Lady’s ultimate advice for finding a partner is to be “straightforward” about who you are.
“If you’re just straightforward with who you are, you know you’re going to find a mate, you’re going to find somebody that wants to go on that journey with you and will be excited about it, and it might make taking the risks, a little easier,” she said.
