Overwhelmed Isn’t Normal: The Silent Symptoms of Chronic Stress We Ignore – BlackDoctor

Chronic stress isn’t just “in your head”—it’s in your blood pressure, your sleep patterns, and your DNA. This is especially true for the Black community, where the weight of “wearing the cape” often leads to a physical toll known as the weathering effect.

BlackDoctor spoke with Dr. Lindsey Beauboeuf, a board-certified Family Medicine physician and founder of Mozaïk Lifestyle Medicine in Atlanta. She breaks down why “just relaxing” is the most frustrating advice a doctor can give, how to spot the physical “cries for help” your body is sending, and why reclaiming your joy—or Vitamin J—is a non-negotiable medical necessity.

You mentioned you are a family physician, and since it’s Stress Awareness Month, I would love to talk about stress. Can you talk a little bit about the most common physical “cries for help” that you often see in your patients that maybe they may not even realize are signs of chronic stress?

When we talk about stress, especially in our African, Afro-Caribbean, Black community, it looks different. A lot of times, people come in and don’t even know that they’re stressed. They exhibit symptoms of anxiety, high blood pressure and tension. They also have signs of abnormal sugars and metabolic dysregulation.

Certainly, you find somebody who’s complaining of feeling tired all the time and feeling on edge—sometimes they’re not even aware of that part. They think that they’re putting on weight and it doesn’t want to go away. You can also have patients who show up saying, “I’m stressed. I need to do something about it. It’s taking over my life. I feel overwhelmed.” Overwhelmed is how our patients mostly describe the feeling of stress. So these are the telltale signs that I usually see in my patient population. 

A lot of doctors have been trained to tell patients who are showing physical signs of stress, like hypertension, high heart rate, or hormone dysregulation, to just “take it easy.” “Control your stress.” I think that is one of the most frustrating pieces of medical advice that anybody can give someone is just, “Relax. Take a day off.” because they’re treating it as a minor attitude or behavioral problem when you’re actually facing something that is a more complex biological process. 

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You mentioned the concept of weathering and how you guys are trained in your practice to address stress with your patients, which speaks to the importance of culturally rooted care. Can you talk a little bit about the importance of that and how it helps patients navigate some of those stressors that traditional medicine might overlook?

Standardized training is standardized everywhere. It doesn’t say, “Oh, when you’re talking about this group of people, this is what you say.” So that’s where culturally rooted care—culturally fluent care—is especially important in our practice at Mozaïk, because we are not in a “one size fits all” situation here.

Therefore, when I address stress with my patients, the first step is to acknowledge that this is not a failure on their part. It’s not because you’re doing too much, or you’re “extra,” or you can’t keep up. We also have to acknowledge that this is systemic. There’s something about your stress level that you can control. But largely, the system in which we live is not really suited for us—minorities, Black people, immigrant African people.

So when I address this issue in the clinic, I really make it a point to help my patients reframe and remove that self-blame. Because if you’re constantly blaming yourself for feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, as if you’re causing your own stress, then we can’t really heal and move forward. We have to make sure that we acknowledge that the reason why you’re chronically stressed is probably because you didn’t have the same chances as somebody else. I, myself, have student loans that are astronomical. I’m stressed about that.Some people want to have a house, and they can’t afford to buy a house. They’re stressed about that. 

And that’s just two examples of financial burden that middle class, and even upper class, or even affluent or emerging affluent Black people deal with that’s always in the back of your mind. “How am I going to pay those loans back? How am I going to afford my car note? How am I going to be able to pay for care for my kids? What about my retirement?” This is all stuff that the system has not helped us put in place for ourselves and therefore, contributes to our stress levels. So when we address the “it’s not really all your fault” factor, it kind of gives you a sense of relief.

Now that you know what you have zero control over, here’s what I think can help with managing stress: Recognition, Regulation, and Relationship.

Recognition is: it’s not all you. You may play a part in it, your choices may play a part in it, but it’s not all you. The system is working against you anyway; you’re swimming against the current. Regulation, in a sense, is: “Alright, so what do I do about that? I can’t change the country where I live. I can’t change racism. But what can I do?” So you really want to check in with yourself. See what your nervous system is doing in the morning. Maybe you don’t pick up the phone and check your calendar or check your social media first thing, because you don’t want to flood your nervous system with something that will spike your cortisol. So, what if you pick up the phone and you see a really bad email—is that how you want to start your day?

So, I try to practice what I preach: wake up in the morning, and hydrate your body. Give it a little boost, because water is really the fuel—I don’t know how to characterize it—but it’s a very foundational thing to help your body optimize your physiological functions. So drink water, be thankful for waking up. Not everybody has a chance to see a new day. Gratitude really does play a big role in regulating your nervous system. The more you look for problems, the more you’ll find problems, but the more you look for things to be grateful for, the outlook on life—your view on life—is different.

Another part of regulation is throughout the day. You open your email, and you see something really bad that is kind of disturbing. Check in with yourself: How does that make me feel? What can you do about it? Three deep breaths, get in some oxygen, relax your body, and do some body scanning. See where the tension is building up in your body? Are you holding your shoulders tight? Relax your shoulders, soften your muscles, unclench your jaw. These are all signals that go back to the brain to say, “Okay, it’s safe. We don’t need to keep flooding the body with fight or flight hormones or transmitters. You’re okay.” 

And the last thing I try to include in that framework is relationship—community. Especially after COVID, everybody’s been segregated, living inside, isolated. That honestly contributes to a higher level of stress everywhere in the world, especially for us in the Black community because we love people. We do cookouts, we do family reunions, we go out, we want to be outside. We want to be with people. And finding your people, finding your tribe, your community, is a good way to help regulate your stress because you can be yourself without over-explaining.

And I even take it one step further: when you’re finding a doctor to take care of you, you want to make sure you find someone you feel comfortable with. At Mozaïk, we say “every single piece of you matters” because we take your health into context of your real life. And it’s okay to bring your culture, your identity into the room with you. So, it’s about finding someone who takes a holistic view of your health, so you feel supported and cared for. 

I know self-care is so important for managing chronic stress, and you just outlined a beautiful way to do it through micro-actions throughout the day. Another thing that you are keen on emphasizing is joy, or “Vitamin J.” Can you talk a little bit about how you encourage patients to take time to practice those key moments of celebration and joy in their lives?

I am a very busy mom of three kids under the age of 10. I have a brand new practice. I’m married, and I have family in Haiti. There’s a lot of things going on in my own life. And for people who have a similar full life, it can be difficult to tell that person, “Hey, Vitamin J—bring some joy into your life,” because you’re like, “When? What time? I can barely go to bed on time.”

So, simple ways to include more joy and more smiles are gratitude and moments of patting yourself on the back. What I try to do to offset “my gosh, my day was crazy,” I sometimes take stock and think about, “Okay, what did I successfully have victory over today? What obstacle was I able to tackle and come out on top? What is it that I was successful at doing today?” Maybe find two or three. You don’t need to find a whole laundry list, but as soon as you start thinking like this, you can start to feel like you are doing a good job. Pat yourself on the back for the victories of the day.

It also helps you shift from that victim mentality of things happening to you to that victory mentality of, “I have overcome all of this, and here I am still standing; today did not take me out. I was victorious in some ways.” And every time you have a victory, that’s to me an occasion for celebration, that’s an occasion for joy. Right now, if you have other people around you, any time that you shared a good conversation with someone, shared a laugh with someone, watched something that made you feel like, “Wow, this was nice”—these are all moments of joy. And when people say “slow down and smell the roses,” yes, metaphorically slow down and smell the roses of what your life is right now. And that will instill and help grow the seed of joy that you already have inside of you and will make the negativity, the stress load, the weathering, and all the things that you cannot control feel a little less daunting and overwhelming.

I heard you talk about work-related stress, which I think is so important in this current “hustle culture.” So many people mistake high-functioning anxiety for productivity. Can you talk a little bit about how to distinguish between healthy pressure and the kind of stress that may be leading to long-term damage?

I’m a high-functioning stress/anxiety—recovering addict and burnout survivor. So I can say that the signs are not always clear. When you are in a state of high-functioning despite this overwhelmingly high level of chronic stress, it’s sometimes due to, as a Black woman, the “Superwoman Schema.” They expect us to wear a cape in all situations. It’s like this unspoken, silent covenant—a contract with society, with Black society—that we need to be the toughest, most resilient, most excellent woman/person, because when we show up in a space, we’re not only representing ourselves, we’re representing our whole community. And that puts an extra load on our shoulders.

Rest, and taking time for yourself, and taking things off your plate, and boundaries—these are not concepts that we grow up thinking are okay. Because we were never in a situation where we had to think about the individual, we’re a group of people that always push the community first because our community is so constantly under attack. 

And because of that, when we’re faced with a situation of chronic stress and a high load, it’s hard for us to distinguish, “Is this normal, or is there too much on my plate?” And again, the best way to know is to check in with yourself and see: how does that make you feel? Are you now all of a sudden waking up in the morning feeling like you never even closed your eyes because you’re so tired? Has your outlook on life changed, where you just see problems everywhere, and you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel? Do you find yourself having more strained relationships? Are you more irritable? There are some telltale signs we are trained to ignore, but now we’re going back to really paying attention to what our bodies are telling us. And each person is different. Each person’s load is different. So when asking, “Okay, how do you distinguish the two?” it’s a really personal conversation that you have to have with your own self to be self-aware, and then bring it to a doctor’s office, your primary care, your therapist’s office to be like, “Hey, this is my experience. What do you think?” so they can give you their expertise and their advice on, “Okay, I hear you. This is normal, this is not normal, and here are some ways to cope.”

Once women develop that self-awareness of the need to be “Superwoman,” is there a level of balance you recommend for them in terms of maintaining healthy boundaries while still navigating some of the things that may be causing them stress?

It goes back to the regulation. You want to give your body the best chances to fight this stress.

When I say “best chances,” we can start with the basics. I tell some patients, “clear water in, clear water out.” Making sure it’s clear so that you’re not just starving your body of essential nutrients and hydration.

Make sure that you are eating whole foods because processed foods can also introduce a different kind of stress on your body. So instead of reaching out for that chocolate bar, reach for something that will give you the same sweet-tooth benefit and fuel benefit—maybe do peanut butter with banana, for example—or reach for a protein pack, something that fuels your body in a way that is not adding more stress to it. 

The other part is to move your body. We’re not meant to be static and stagnant. We need to be moving. You want to move your body as much as possible—150 minutes per week of vigorous exercise. You don’t have to be stuck in a gym for 30 minutes each day, but you can park your car far when you go to Target or Walmart, or even if you don’t have any money, go take laps and do some window shopping; get your heart pumping, get moving. If you like to dance, you like music—I know in the Haitian community we really love to dance—just put some music on and start dancing.

Last but not least for me, especially, that’s something that I myself am still trying to find the best balance—is sleep. There’s a saying, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”—no, sir, you will die if you don’t sleep! Because that’s when your brain, your neurons, and your nervous system regenerate, heal, and take out the garbage. And the more sleep you get, the more rest you get, the lower your chances of having dementia.

And pray. People forget to pray. When you have something bigger than yourself that you submit yourself to, it takes a load off of you when you feel like, “You know what? Let go and let God.” 

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For those who may have that self-awareness that they are suffering from chronic stress, what is the one thing that you recommend they do before they reach their breaking point?

I would recommend someone who has started to feel like, “You know what? There’s something going on and I’m really overwhelmed, I’m stressed, and this is taking a toll.”—Number one: find a primary care doctor. Get some help. Get some actual professional help. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy—you’re not crazy. You are dealing with something that you may not have caused, so it’s not totally your fault; you’re living in a system that doesn’t like you. So get some help.

And while you wait for that help to arrive, journaling helps a lot, because you can put down what your feelings are. Gratitude can also really take the edge off, because journaling, to me, is data— what went right, what went wrong. And if you don’t have data, how can you really move forward?

Next thing is, go back to the basics as I mentioned: fuel your body with water, healthy foods or whole foods, and sleep and exercise. Those won’t take away your stress completely, but they will give your body a way to manage it better. And really, just be with your people. Find your community, find your tribe, and that will make a big impact on your health and your stress level. And if you are in the Atlanta area, come see us at Mozaïk. I can be your health advocate. If you’re not around, just shoot me a message—I’m very easily reached. You can send me a DM on my Instagram. We’re all in this together. We’re just one people—I got your back. 

You can reach Dr. Beauboeuf by following her on Instagram at @doctor_lindsey or by connecting with her Atlanta-based practice, Mozaïk Lifestyle Medicine, on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn at @mozaikcare.

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.